Announcement: Top Life Lessons

This page contains a collection of all our life lessons in order as voted by our readers:

Tip 1: Lesson 1: Talk to strangers

Tip 2: Lesson 2: Integrity

Tip 3: Lesson 11: Be Comfortable In Yourself

Tip 4: Lesson 3: Know what you want

Tip 5: Lesson 10: Be The Best

Tip 6: Lesson 4: Persistance

Tip 7: Lesson 5: Ask for help

Tip 8: Lesson 6: Don’t be a follower be a leader

Tip 9: Lesson 7: Take Risks & Don’t Have Regrets

Tip 10: Lesson 8: Trust Your GUT

Tip 11: Lesson 9: Everyone has an Agenda

That concludes our Life Lessons to date, but more soon 🙂

Lesson 11: Be Comfortable In Yourself

TurtleThis sound like a rather hippy lesson, and granted this lesson took me a while to realise…..

The good news is I did realise it and I am sharing it with you, if your confortable in yourself, people will just feed off that.

I do and say some random shit, or I did when I wrote this post, I am only young after all, and people find it funny, join in or are just confortable with it.

This is probably one the hardest lessons to explain but also the simplest, if you are genuinely confortable with the things you do and say people can tell.

You can have two people who look exactly the same, and say the same words, but if one is confortable and genuinely believes what they are saying and the other is not and doesn’t believe it they will get two completely different reactions.

One good, one bad.

Even though they said the same thing and look the same.

Here’s another real example:

I don’t really remember how this came about but I remember a time when me and your mother where first dating, I think I was getting a drink from the shared kitchen in only my boxers and then saw her flat mate and she said something to me, can’t remember what but I ended up picking her up and throwing her on her bed, and we both found it funny, if someone else did the same the girls would probably have found it weird, or awkward and you know they probably did find it awkward but in a funny way and they all loved me, they showed me this in this own way, again and again over time.

And this perfectly demonstrates my point, just don’t tell your mother, she’s probably forgotten!

Lesson 10: Be The Best

Be The Best Version Of YouEverything I have written so far, leads perfectly to this lesson.

Be The BEST

What can I say, there is so much to this, the first draft of this which in truth was published for over a year since I got busy with other stuff and stopped working on this, had specific male characteristics which I thought about for making the best of yourself and being a man, things like looking good by going to the gym, being confident, bold, enthusiastic, non-judgemental and caring.

Yet that’s only one aspect of this, that’s only about making the best of yourself, that’s not actually about being the best, being the best is about being the best you can be in any situation and it’s about trying your hardest, it’s about not being afraid to fail, all these things I had not even comprehended when I wrote the first version of Lessons For My Kids, I was too focused on women and missed the bigger picture.

The bigger picture I now get the picture that says you need to just be the best version of yourself by giving your all to stuff, and trying your hardest, if you’re going to do something not very well what’s the point of even doing it..

Like this site, I know I mention it time and time again, but it was pointless because the lessons where badly written and poorly presented, although the core ideas were solid.

To be the best you have to accept where you have made mistakes and change and adapt, constantly, always be working towards being the best man or women you can be and you will never go wrong. Just keep moving forward, being better than you where yesterday and your golden, you really are.

Lesson 9: Everyone has an Agenda

Everyone Has Their Own AgendaThis may sound like a bit of a negative lesson, but bear with me..

In Life Everyone has an Agenda……

They don’t do things for no reason, someone does not simply give someone something for no reason, now I’m not saying it always benefits them directly or they do it for anything other than good positive reasons.

People have done stuff for me, just to be nice, I have done stuff for others just to be nice but again this is an agenda, even if that agenda is just to be a good friend they still have agenda.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad thing, in one of the others lessons about asking for help I even said you should help people to give back, but it can also be for other reasons.

Consider someone’s reasons…

There’s an old saying there’s no such thing a free lunch, that’s not technically true but it mostly is, if someone’s buying you lunch chances are they want something in return, or they would spend their money on something else, other times someone does it to be nice.

Take it from the wrong person you’re the bait on the book on the hook….

Now, I’m not going to keep rambling on because you’re a clever kid.

Lesson 8: Trust Your GUT

Trust Your GutThis lesson is in many respects counter to society, now I’m not saying you should forget reason, logic, maths and trust a mysterious thing that no one really understands.

But at the same time that is what I am saying, and I know this makes me sound absolutely nuts, but at the same time there is no point in fighting your instincts.

Too often people second guess themselves, for example in tests they fill out their paper and then go through it again changing the answers, only to find out their first answer was right.

Now I’m not saying don’t go through your paper again and re-read the question in a test although I usually don’t, if you want the honest truth, I’m saying if you’re not sure trust your first instinct.

Ultimately if you think it’s the right decision with conviction you should go for it.

I don’t think anything really explains this better than how I chose my university.

Most People:

Going round the university, reads loads of stats online, reviews and it becomes someone what of a mathematical decision.

Me

I searched online for University’s that did my course and found loads but one really stuck out, I applied without seeing it along with a couple of others, in the end I had a choice between a university doing slightly better on paper or them….

Most people would choose the one that was doing slightly better but not me, I chose the one that my gut said, and was glad I made that decision; they even ended up moving up in the league tables by quite a big jump during my first year.

This is probably one of the most important decisions of someone’s adult life and I just trusted myself and I honestly wouldn’t change it,

Gut Instinct is amazing, don’t fight it, embrace it, it’s not scientific but it just works…

Lesson 7: Take Risks & Don’t Have Regrets

The Only Things In Life You Regret Are The Risks You Didn't TakeToday we have another one of those fairly obvious lesson, which allot of people get wrong…

Take Risks & Don’t Have Regrets

This may sound absolutely obvious and slightly crazy but ultimately it’s the decisions you make in life that take you to where you are in life, different decisions would make you someone different.

I’m pretty sure it’s written elsewhere but I am going to write it again, had I not have made all the mistakes made in life at a young age, then I wouldn’t be the man I am today, had I not have taken the risks I have then I again wouldn’t be the man I am today.

If my life had of been perfect this website wouldn’t exist, I may not have even met you mother, this different version of me probably did meet someone else, so you would be different or I may have ended up some world class player, and never settled down, I don’t know, and ultimately I don’t really care.

There was a time, I didn’t get it, there was a time, I wished I could go back and change things, but then I realised these things made me a better man, your mother even once remarked, you are one of the best guys I have ever met and you will grow into an even better man and this is within a few months of us dating.

My point is, by regretting the things you have done, the decisions you have made, you ultimately regret who you are at your very core, and that never lead to anything good, except maybe an addiction to anti-depressants, whereas if you accept and embrace the challenges and decisions you have made they make you a better person you can move on, and you can adapt.

Live life with no regrets, take risks and you will lead the best life possible, you will make mistakes no doubt but they will be funny stories, to share with your kids one day, when you are teaching them all the things I taught you because in the end it doesn’t matter because the knocks shape you, just as much as the successes in fact you learn more from my failures than from success.

Lesson 6: Don’t Be A Follower Be A Leader

Be A LeaderDon’t Be A Follower Be A Leader….

It’s probably one of the oldest clichés in the book, but is also true, by following someone else all you end up is a passenger on their journey, by creating your own path you’re the creator of yours.

Sheep follow other sheep around, and do not succeed at anything themselves, if you want to succeed you have to be prepared to stand up and be counted, if you’re prepared to do that you will go far.

All the way through school and university when someone asked anyone have any questions or they waited, eagerly for an answer, no one ever piped up they were all scared to ask one stupid question or give one wrong answer.

I never was, in fact I used to get told I had to give others a chance, yet no one ever had anything to say until I said something, or the odd time someone else said something first then suddenly everyone else, had questions too.

No one wants to go first.

But if you want to succeed you have to go first, you have to be that leader.

By being the leader you have a tremendous advantage, in marketing we call this First-Mover Advantage but it applies to everything.

You may have learnt on school, everyone is a winner for taking part, that’s rubbish, in the real world; the winner is the guy who came first whether the race was fair or not someone has to win.

Now there are some exceptions to this, my first success was not particularly unique in idea, but the one who was first had a massive advantage over me, and there’s would certainly sell for allot more.

Now I’m not saying you always have to innovate, always have to be first, since unless you have a time machine that’s not always possible, but where it is then be first.

Most people have the potential to win at life but they just don’t do anything with it, they want someone else to do it first because they are scared of the risk.

The flipside of this is you can sometimes do something too early, for example in marketing their where many ideas for websites that had they have been launched 10 years later would have succeed, yet they didn’t because they were too advanced for their era, so it’s also about timing so using logical as to when to do whatever, rather than letting fear stop you.

Lesson 5: Ask for help

Ask For HelpThis is a pretty straight forward lesson, but equally an important one.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

With help you can figure things out much quicker than trying to do everything on your own, some people may refuse to help but if you don’t ask, then you never know others will go above and beyond.

Most people are friendly and if they can help you they will in fact, more than that we are social people we actually like helping people, especially our friends, but you need to ensure it’s a reciprocal relationship, if all someone is doing is giving you help day in day out, and you’re giving them nothing in return, they will start to think of you as a leech even if they liked you and wanted to help you originally, so you need to give them something in return, I know this is going to sound calculated but it’s not.

It’s just how the world works.

In everything it is the same, like today I saw a film about corporate lobbyists, It showed how the lobbyists give the politicians gifts, in exchange for helping them and in return the politicians give them legislation, that in turn helps the lobbyists clients. In this type of scenario, pretty much everyone wins except the general public.

Now this is maybe a slightly complex example but you’re a clever kid so I’m sure you understand my point and that is.

Ask for help but also help people, if you go above and beyond for people they will for you.

In other words:

When life is hard ask for help. When life is good reach out to the people who need your help.

Lesson 4: Persistance

PersistenceAlmost everything worth having in life comes with Persistence, actually this is technically not true, your mum loves Ice cream and we can just go to the shop and buy that, but I’m talking important things, like success.

Persistence is the difference between a winner and a looser, a looser gives up, a winner keeps trying and trying, even when he keeps not getting it right.

Before I had my first success, I had many unsuccess attempts, now had I persisted earlier through the pain, the distraction, I would have probably succeeded earlier, but I didn’t, and I learnt allot of important things along the way.

But that’s just me, there are far more life changing things that have come though persistence.

Thomas Edison (hopefully you know who he is by now, but if not, he is the guy who invented the original light bulb but please listen more in school in future!), he famously tried 2000 times before he got it right, instead of giving up after the first 10 or even 1000 times, he carried on, through the pain until he succeed, and when he did he famously remarked “I did not fail I found 2000 ways not to make a light bulb”..

If Edison had of given up, we wouldn’t have light the way we do, while I am sure we wouldn’t still be using candles, do they even have these anymore, someone else would have invented something else for better or worse if they too had of not given up.

But one thing you should know is you should always Keep trying, Don’t Give-up, work through that pain and persist, nothing good ever came out of giving up but allot of good things came through hard work and not giving up.

Lesson 3: Know what you want

Know what you wantI don’t when you’re going to learn to read but I’m going to assume your super intelligent and learnt young, so young you still have dreams of being an astronaut, or being a marketer like daddy!

And if that’s what you want then you have to work towards it, read books on marketing, and if you want to be an astronaut bug mummy to take you to astronaut training.

That way you working towards you goal, the end goal, I didn’t always know what I wanted completely but I always had an end goal to run my own business, I never wanted to work for someone else, I understood the need for people to work for others, its critical for society but even as a child I dreamed of having my own business, so that was always my end goal, and that’s probably why I bunked at school in truth, I didn’t think I would need it, it took me longer than I thought to have my own business because I used to get distracted easily, undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder does that to you unfortunately, but it is what it is.

Ultimately if you know what you want, you can work out how to get there, a plan if you will, there are many ways to write goals, some do daily goals, some do weekly goals, some do yearly goals, it doesn’t really matter as long as you are constantly looking at how you’re going to achieve your end goal, and honestly your goals will probably change over time, especially short term goals essentially the stepping stones to get to your long term goal, the problem is when you step on a stepping stone different things happen, its unpredictable, try not to have conflicting goals however or it makes it difficult to achieve anything.

If you want to do be an astronaut and a marketer, it’s doubly hard because you need to learn and work towards both, if you want to be an astronaut and an anti-pollution specialist its near impossible you cannot one minute be all for rocket travel and the next campaign against it…. Maybe you can but that will lose you all integrity, now these are just random examples granted, there are many more you will probably think of reading this.

But ultimately you need clarity, and you need to know what you want so you can work towards you goal, if you don’t work towards it you can never achieve it, if you dream of running your own business yet accept a 9/5 and do nothing but your 9/5 you will always be that sheep, earning money without risk, you will never have your own business, whereas if you buy a few products and start selling them online on the side you are working towards quitting that job and running your own import export business.

Lesson 2: Integrity

IntegrityIntegrity, where do I start?

It’s one of the things that attracted me to your mother; she was always honest with me, even in the beginning and even when it may hurt my feelings.

But I didn’t tell you that 😉

You probably don’t use Google anymore, but let’s first look at what the word means..

Integrity is “the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.”

Let that sink in for a moment.

Now what does this mean for life, well when I first wrote this (this is technically the second draft of everything, since the originals where pretty badly written anyway) i wrote about something that had happened to me the day before, now I don’t actually remember it happening, but it serves as a good example, so I am going to keep it here, the only thing left of that faithful original post, the example was “Yesterday me and a friend where in a shop, he was looking through his wallet, and I remembered I still owed him £3, it’s not much I know, but it’s the principle so i reminded him and paid for his shopping” now what do you think happened? He knows I am trust worthy and now trusts me, now I didn’t do it for that reason I did it because I owed him money, and yes it’s a small sum and I can’t remember why now, I probably forgot my wallet and he brought me lunch or something, or it may have been one of the times the chip broke in my debit card, I don’t remember.

Now this is only one example that I don’t really remember much about but it applies to everything, if I say I will do something, 99% of the time I will do it, I may forget now and then or double book myself, like the time and me your mother where going on our first holiday together and I had forgotten about my English exam (yes I re-did my English many years later to finally upgrade that horrible E as it where!), so I had to phone up and change the holiday to 3 days later, she was a little annoyed I had made such a school boy error but we went and had an amazing time.

So yes there are times when you cannot always come through with something you have said or agreed upon, but those times should be a rarity, always try your hardest to do something you say you will do, be that paying someone money you owe them, or answering someone’s question honestly, it all comes down to the same thing, Have INTEGRITY Even In Times Of Trouble.

Lesson 1: Talk To Strangers, They’re Not Scary.

Strangers?Look, if you’re reading this you’re not little anymore unless you started to read young, in which case, well done 🙂 but anyway despite the arguments, your mother may have still told you not to talk to strangers, I know school did, but I never did, and you know why?

Everyone starts out as a stranger, including your mother.

I remember the night I met her like it was yesterday but we won’t get into that now, but it’s safe to say she was a stranger, without her we wouldn’t have you, you see where I’m going with this?

People constantly tell you not to talk to strangers as a child, since they are fearful of you their little bundle of joy being kidnapping when in actual fact it’s usually a family member, your mother knows this better than most yet she still told you not to talk to strangers, go figure.

Anyway my point is, meeting and being confortable around people is probably one of the most important life skills you can have.

If you’re genuinely confortable around people even those you don’t know very well you will feel happy and be able to be your true self without worrying about someone judging you.

Think of it this way, your confortable around strangers, so when you start that new day at school, at work, you just walk in the room, like it was me and your mother sitting on the sofa in the living room eating dinner, so you say hi, and talk to everyone, you have now met tons of new people who see your confidence, they now want to be your friend, you get to know them, some you have common interests with, some you don’t, the one’s you do will probably become good friends, they will help you in life, because you’re their friend, you need that sofa moving because you have a new one coming your old friend Dan with the van will offer to help you take it up the dump, now imagine you had never met Dan you would be struggling with that sofa on your own, or have to hire a skip or a van, to move it yourself, now I’m not saying this is the reason to befriend people because it’s not, its selfish, and transparent, but anyway.

Now imagine the opposite scenario, you are scared of new people, you walk into that first day all shy, you sit in the corner you don’t talk to anyone, you’re now the outsider, it’s going to be hell, until finally someone says hi, and finally you make a friend or maybe just an acquaintance, where you’re their 3 years and still no one knows your name…. you just that trusty guy that does his work and goes home, when you need to move your sofa, you have no-one, just me to help you move it, we have to hire a van but we get it done.

I know in both cases that old stained sofa gets taken to the dump, but I know I would rather be the overconfident guy mentioned in number one, the guy who is not fearful of strangers, who loves meeting people.